Marriage at St Luke’s

Kingston upon Thames

 

We welcome an approach about “getting married” here at St Luke’s. The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony is much more than about a “white wedding” having with hymns, lovely flowers in a nice Church. It is an important commitment that a woman and a man make to enter into a covenant relationship ordained and blessed by God.

 

 

 

A wedding is one of life's great moments, a time of solemn commitment as well as good wishes, feasting and joy. St John tells us how Jesus shared in such an occasion at Cana, and gave there a sign of new beginnings as he turned water into wine.

 

 

 

 

 

Marriage is intended by God to be a creative relationship, as his blessing enables husband and wife to love and support each other in good times and in bad, and to share in the care and upbringing of children. For Christians, marriage is also an invitation to share life together in the spirit of Jesus Christ. It is based upon a solemn, public and life-long covenant between a man and a woman, declared and celebrated in the presence of God and before witnesses.

 

 

 

 

 

On your wedding day you face each other, make your promises and receive God's blessing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant
or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 

 

1 Corinthians 13.4-7

 

The “partnership” aspect of marriage is obviously an important part of a couple’s life together. Neither person should think he or she is dominant over the other, even though each will have gifts and talents the other does not. In fact, leadership in a marriage may move from one partner to the other times because of circumstances that may occur such as sickness or loss of a job. If we keep in mind that each person is created equal in the image and likeness of God, husband and wife will recognize the equality of the other. The marriage vows are the same for both.

This is a lifelong contract. The vows state, “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health…until death do us part.” It is expected that every marriage will go through very difficult and trying times which demand great sacrifice. Some marriages are made in heaven; most are not. That is the reason why the Church encourages couples to take time in their preparation, usually six months. This includes not only filling out papers but also pre-marriage classes During that time, a couple may realize that the differences and potential problems are so great that they decide to wait or not get married.

The spouses not only give themselves to each other but also receive the other. In doing so the needs of each spouse are to be met and fulfilled as much as reasonably possible. This includes their mutual support, personal interests and their sexual lives together. Marriage is ordained for the giving of life to offspring and for guiding them and providing the growth to adulthood. How important are these goals or ends? Well, if a man or woman made the intention of “no children or no sexual life,” it would not be possible for him or her to actually make a marriage contract. One or both of the very purposes of marriage would be missing and both are essential for the contract.

Keep in mind that this is the most important contract any two people can make. Unfortunately in our society, some people will spend months looking for a house, seeking all kinds of advice along with inspections, but will marry after a brief courtship and prepare only for the wedding day itself—not the commitment of married life. The Church encourages couples to take their time and be aware of the life they are about to enter. Marriage has serious consequences.

The Church of England has recently changed its rules on the re-marriage in Church of persons previously married. This is not, however, an open book for a church wedding after divorce. Of course marriages breakdown. This is a reality and a cause of great sadness and the Church seeks to help people to deal with this reality and to move on in their lives with in a manner that is positive and capable of God’s blessing.

Consistent with the new Church rules St Luke’s Parish does not conduct weddings involving divorced persons.

It may be possible for people who have been divorced to have their civil marriage blessed in Church and this can be discussed with Fr Martin.

We look forward to journeying with you both as you explore deeper the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.